Let’s goooooooo!!! When you’re questioning your life and find you don’t know what is next, why not start from within? With what you have? What is in your life already? Now, take that thing and romanticize it!
I’ve always been naturally, realistically optimistic. If it’s something that is not hurting anyone then I have an easy quality to romanticize it versus complain. There are plenty of things to complain about so watch me be optimistic about everything else under the sun. In the words of Bruno Mars: Don’t believe me, just watch!
My view from the window in my living room is so great. It’s calming and exhilarating, and with our new gate opening up onto a greenbelt and park filled with trees I feel like Simba in The Lion King. Everything the light touches is mine. I can exercise in the grass with the gate open and feel very zen. We can have picnics. It’s amazing. Yes, many have much more than this but are they as happy about it as I am? Do they luxuriate in what they have and thoroughly enjoy it?? Not most of the time, it seems.
So lean in to the things you have and present it to yourself like it is a exquisite and charming gift.
I’ve hit on this topic in different ways prior to this. Specifically, I wrote about “acting as-if” in one of my first blog posts. (Read here.) Also, I often talk about curating your own life. You could say I’m a proponent of having a skill to make your life better and worth living in your back pocket no matter the circumstances. Maybe it’s even a survival tool reminiscent of Viktor Frankl’s strategy of “attitude is everything.” Given he survived the holocaust in a concentration camp after losing everyone he loved, I believe he gets to speak on this. His experience also solidifies that this technique is not just possible due to any privilege.
Because of all the suffering people go through big and small and because I have used strategies like this, it’s hard to watch privileged people complain. I know all feelings are valid but that’s exactly why a strategy or coping method is necessary. You have things you want to complain about ad nauseam? Get yourself a strategy to live a more satisfying life!
So, what are some examples of a romanticized life?
-My gate, as mentioned earlier, gives me access to the world and so much more land than is in my back yard and I can pretend it’s all mine. PLUS, I don’t have to maintain it! I’m so spoiled!
-Cleaning out your closet and moving clothes you love but never wear to a new spot so you can pretend you just got them. Create a whole new outfit for your next outing! For the record, I refuse to use the newer slang term “fit” because it makes me think of a toddler throwing one and then it makes me equate your proclamation to being a toddler yourself for using the term “fit.” Sorry for the soapbox point but it needed to be made.
-Instead of worrying others will notice you’re wearing the same thing for the 5th time, imagine that it is your signature outfit and people will think of you in it and think you are so cool to embody the clothes so well that you are confident enough to choose it many times.
-Find small things you can do to improve your environment. Maybe put up wallpaper that sparks joy. Make your space how you want it to look now, not later. Let it be a project that you enjoy crafting. Your little slice of the world is there to make it your own.
-Pretend your house is fancy and call some part of it the west wing or something, probably the part that is pointing West. Hmmm, in my house, the dining room is facing the West so it’s perfect since it has been the fanciest room in the house! I’m RICH with imagination!
-Create sidequest missions in your life like I did with 2024’s pasta quest. Literally one of the best ideas I’ve ever lived through. So fun, satisfying, and, might I add, productive!
-Constantly compare your life to what it would mean to someone living in a cabin in the woods. You instantly have so much and are so fancy and have the world at your fingertips. Gosh, your life must just be one excitement after another! -coming from the cottage dweller who hasn’t seen another person for years. (I actually want to live in a cottage in the forest but you can see how our world, no matter what situation you are in looks exotic from that point of view.)
-Engage your senses by lighting a candle and imagining you are in a movie and everyone is just enthralled by your character and anything you do is enchanting. So much so that they know the candle smells great, even though they can’t smell it, because a person like you would only have excellent scents or maybe I mean excellent SENSE. See what I just did there?
-Make playlists prior to specific activities, like cleaning your house, working out, going on a trip, etc. If we are talking about being in a movie, you gotta bring the music to your life. You want to be a badass? You can be!
-Lay in the grass, looking up at the trees or sky and imagine you are one of the few people in the world anymore and you are going to have to start a whole new colony of humans in an airport like in Station 11 and how much more simplistic that would feel.
-Imagine the things you leave behind being found and people being so enthralled by the way you lived your life that someone writes a book using all your blog posts called Kelly’s Way: A guide for your time on Earth and you are now posthumously famous like so many before you and when the aliens find it, they will sigh in relief and be so thankful since this place is such a mess! (Not a dream I have for people to be influenced by my thoughts so they can have better lives or anything…)
Am I delulu? (I like that one. I’m using it.) Maybe!! I’ve been called Peter Pan, Where the Wild Things Are, among other things by exes that couldn’t see these traits as survivor skills! To quote our insane President, “Sad!” These strategies have only been honed and sharpened since childhood to a point I can wield them anywhere and anytime I please! It’s a fun skill to have and if you want to enjoy your life at all, possibly vital.
I’m not ignoring all the horrible things that go on here. I use this romanticizing tool to supplement my ability to stay even-keeled. It helps balance things out. And I’m not an overly jealous person by nature. I’m content. But who’s to say it’s not because I have been using this tool all my life? Maybe that’s why. If you start thinking this way, maybe you can hone your craft of romanticizing your life too. Either way, just take my advice. Take it. For real. It’s good! And FUN!
onthecontrarykelly 