My whole life, I’ve resolved that I would be a part of a group of friends that was convincingly, yet nauseatingly, close. Growing up, the television shows I watched painted a picture of what friends could be for me. I imagine it was similar to the picture Disney painted for romantic relationships that many other little girls dreamed of. I wasn’t one of those girls but I still was disillusioned by the same blindingly radiant light provided by the media. My dream just involved a larger intimate group versus just two intimate people. Let’s face it, I’m a hippie.
When I first started watching Friends I was a bright-eyed idiot. I seriously thought that was how adults were. It was a child’s dream to one day grow up and legitimately play house like life was one long drawn out sleepover with your best friends. The closest I got to this was college and that lifestyle swindled me too. It was the best of times and never the worst of times except I still wasn’t always part of one specific group that never left each other. There were multiple groups and that was sufficient at the time. Regardless, I was still looking for my Prince and Princess Charmings.
Then, like a crystal ball into my foreseeable future, every show after Friends seemed to appeal to me in the same way. There was How I Met your Mother which began while I was in college so that didn’t help my misconception in any way. And, we moved from a coffee shop on Friends to a bar which always seemed way more realistic. This, in turn, made me believe even more that I would certainly find this ONE flawless group of friends. I was late to Sex and the City but I did watch every episode and although this group was purely female they certainly hung out a lot and knew each other backwards and forwards so my blindness only got worse. And then there was Cougartown. This show really put it over the top for me. The same feeling I got watching Friends was amplified by the possibility that I may actually one day have a group of friends that lived on a cul-de-sac and spent every waking moment together + drank tons of wine. See, we just got classier.
Throughout the span of all of these shows I found myself still hoping for this group, thinking I had it at times, realizing some who I thought were that group were so far from what I wanted, and then always getting back to square one. By the time Cougartown started I was almost 25, the same age my mom once told me your brain is finally fully developed. I was starting to get it but I didn’t want to believe it. Happy Endings screwed me over even more and of course so did the Holy Grail that is New Girl. (Adorable girl spends MOST of her time with three fun-loving guys only to see her best girlfriend SOME of the time when she needs her the most…) I’ve always liked guys more than girls but needed girls more than guys so this show was the ultimate for me.
Oh and lets not even get started on the relationships and shenanigans that occur within all of these groups. That topic could be another blog in itself for me, but this concept, above all else, truly mind boggled me into believing anything that happened between this hypothetical group of friends would be fine because everyone respected and loved each other unconditionally and understood that we are all human. Here’s where my being a hippie does not do me any good. Just take my advice and know that people do not like this concept, not even the best of friends. I still, on the other hand, am a much more understanding person than most. Another piece of advice- if you are like this, do not follow your own rules, follow your group of friends rules. Also, if you do have said group of friends, tell me how you got them! AND how do you plan on keeping them forever and ever?!?
When I think about it, I feel I have come close a few times to having what TV told me I’d always have as an adult but I always find that soon enough every group changes. This is not what I ever expected but I’m starting to see the light and it’s no longer blinding. That’s right. I’m setting my expectations low. It’s the best way. “Friends” ruined me. “I’ll be there for you?” Are you kidding me? Lies! Okay, maybe the best way is to think about it differently…(like my blog says!) It’s quite possible I need to be more realistic and understand that different people come into your life at various times. They may not stay there forever but they are there to serve some purpose and I should simply enjoy their company while I can. I mean, if I truly am a hippie, shouldn’t I always have understood this? Maybe so, but all I wanted was to have an endless sleepover with a group of friends and go get coffee/beer/wine the next day with the SAME group of friends then hit repeat forever and ever and ever. Ah, who am I kidding, I still really want that. 😉
*Disclaimer- I have plenty of awesome friends in real life that I really like a lot! It’s just that none of you jerks like each other like I want you to and we cannot be a group if you will not cooperate! 😉 Heh…..Love you all.
onthecontrarykelly 